Ispent my early 20’s studying Power Engineering at University, aiming to only get straight A‘s at each exam (14 courses each year), blogging about style & fashion on the side, hoping to get invited to major fashion weeks and receive free products to review, volunteering in a students’ organization to militate for women’s rights in the engineering field which got me to travel all over Europe. At the same time, together with my (now) husband, we started about 7 online companies, from selling handmade jewelry to custom made prom dresses, marketing services, and sexy lingerie. Don’t forget, we also hand-crafted organic teaboxes. And I had 2 jobs each summer, with 80h work weeks.
If your brain hurts just by reading the words above, imagine how fried mine was by trying to do it all PERFECTLY.
I had no stop button. I had no idea what ENOUGH meant. I always had to become better, do more and have more than anyone else. Unfortunately, when there used to be no finish line, only one huge goal after the other.
I used to get up at 6:30 am and go to bed around 1 pm. I went to less than five parties in all my four years in university. I was recognized as SUCCESSFUL and a great example that other students should follow.
And yes, I had a lot of pride, and it made me feel so good knowing I was so much better than everyone else. Even my husband could not keep up with me, and for his own sanity, he did not try.
BUT, was I happy? Or healthy? Not really. I was always rushing through life to accomplish goal after goal. I never had time to smell the roses, heck I did not even see the roses. In my world, there were only endless to-do lists and immense pride in doing it all.